Mending of Hearts
by Meenah Peixes
Summary: In a raging sea of teenage hormones, Eridan is trying to mend Feferi's broken heart so that she may mend his, too. It's hard being a kid and growing up, it's hard and nobody understands. Humanstuck.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! This is my second Homestuck fic, but my first try at Humanstuck. At first I wasn't a fan of Humanstuck stories, but I've recently grown pretty fond of them and wanted to try my hand at one. :) This will be a multi-chapter fic. I'm not sure how long it will be, nor have I planned the plot out completely, so hopefully just going with the flow of things will work out. Reviews are very much appreciated, I'd love to hear your thoughts!**

* * *

A group of twelve teenagers had decided to spend their Friday night gathered around a bonfire. It wasn't quite the most innocent of bonfires, as the smell of roasted marshmallows and burning wood mixed with that of alcohol and marijuana. Kanaya, the girl generous enough to sacrifice her backyard for the event, had clearly stated this party was to be clean, but some asshole had brought the goods anyway. Once it was out there was no stopping it, and so Kanaya gave up on snatching it away. The level of chaos was minimal, however, and the night was actually turning out to be quite relaxing.

* * *

"Hey, fuckass."

Eridan was sitting on a chunk of firewood all alone, beginning to contemplate whether or not to grab a drink while being his regular miserable self. He glanced up at the guy who just approached him and his expression turned to a scowl. "What the fuck do you want, Kar?"

"Calm the fuck down, oh my god. I just came to offer you a drink because you look like you need one. How considerate of me, I know." Karkat shoved a drink down in front of Eridan's face.

Annoyed, Eridan pushed the drink back towards Karkat. "Thanks, Kar, but I drove here tonight and I got more class than that." Still, he had to admit it was tempting.

"What the hell? We've had drinks together before, and I'm pretty fucking positive you drove your shitty car afterwards." He groaned and placed himself next to Eridan, then helped himself to the drink, already giving up on offering it to his friend. "All right," he sighed after a swig of booze, "What's got your angsty hipster ass sore this time?"

"Nothin'," Eridan responded quickly.

"Damn it, Eridan, you're full of shit. Tell me or I'm staining your Toms with beer," Karkat spat.

"Okay, okay!" Eridan knew Karkat was completely serious about ruining his shoes, so he gave in. "I was talking to Vris earlier and she told me somethin'."

Karkat rolled his eyes and let out another groan. "Well no shit! She's Vriska. What the fuck did she say this time?"

"I don't wanna be spreadin' her rumors...," Eridan muttered.

Karkat laughed. "Oh, come on, just look at her over there blabbing away with Sollux. I bet she's already told him, too."

"Um..."

"Maybe I should just go ask her myself!" Karkat exclaimed. He made an attempt to stand up, but his head swirled a bit and he plopped back down. Or maybe it was Eridan yanking him back.

"No!" Eridan practically growled. "Fine, I'll tell you," he sighed. He removed his glasses to wipe a smudge away, then put them back on before continuing. "Apparently Sol is going to dump Fef and ask Aradia out."

Karkat blinked a couple of times, processing Eridan's words. "I'm really confused. Why the fucking hell is this a problem for you? Shouldn't you be frolicking around screaming, 'Finally, all my dreams are coming true! Magic is real!' or some ridiculously stupid shit like that?"

"It's not that simple, Kar, you fuckin' asshole," Eridan whined, "I don't want Fef to be heartbroken..." He placed a hand to his forehead.

"Who gives a shit?" Karkat asked. "You could be the one to mend her heart, you dumbass. You have no idea how many times I have seen this situation in movies before. It always works out."

"I know, but... I still don't know if she'll ever like me like that," Eridan said, still pressing his face to his palm. "And I don't even know if this is all true!"

Karkat stuck Eridan in the ribs with his elbow. "Then go find out! Go ask Sollux yourself!" He finished his beer and chucked the empty can into the bonfire. "Be a man!" he added, followed by a burp.

"Dammit, Kar! Ow!" Eridan yelped and scowled at his friend again. "I don't know if that's a good idea..."

"Yes it is, because I came up with it. Now go!" Karkat urged again. "You are Eridan fucking Ampora. You got this."

Eridan stood up. "Yeah...," he said with growing confidence. "I'm Eridan fucking Ampora. Watch out, Sollux fucking Captor."

As Eridan marched away, Karkat went to fetch himself another drink, or maybe to smoke it up with Gamzee. Not once did it cross his mind that he might have just caused something incredibly stupid to happen.

* * *

Over at the other end of the bonfire, Vriska stood talking to Sollux. When Eridan approached them, they both raised their eyebrows.

"Heeeeeeeey, Eridan," Vriska greeted, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Hey, Vris. Can you give us a minute? I need to speak to Sol."

If Vriska's grin could have gotten any more wide and mischievous, it did right then. "Oh, sure," she said in a falsely innocent voice. She then strutted off to go have a chat with Aradia, craving to be the ringleader of tonight's gossip.

Sollux crossed his arms, dreading to be left alone with Eridan. A smug grin formed on his face, however. He knew what Eridan was probably going to say, so he figured he'd go ahead and begin the conversation himself.

"FF's yours, you can have her."

"What?" The scowl Eridan was wearing switched to disbelief. Did he really just...? Sure, this is what Vriska said Sollux was going to do, but Eridan wouldn't fully believe it until it came from Sollux's mouth. Except now that it had, he still could hardly believe it. Suddenly, he didn't feel very prepared for this at all, and he mentally spat curses at Karkat for suggesting that he talk to Sollux in the first place.

"You heard what I said. I'm done with her. I only dated her because she practically threw herself at me, and well, she's hot. But I've got my eyes on somebody else, and the confidence she'll want to be my new girlfriend."

Eridan quickly surveyed the yard in search of Feferi. He spotted her sitting up against a tree away from everyone else, her face buried in her hands while her long hair tumbled down, nearly touching the ground. Eridan could tell she was crying, sobbing even. Soon, motherly party host Kanaya crept over to her and attempted to comfort her. Snapping out of the shocked trance he was in, Eridan whipped his head back toward Sollux with a look of sheer disgust.

"You fuckin' lispin' piece a shit!" Eridan spat through gritted teeth. He clenched his fists so tightly that they began to tremble.

Sollux was taken slightly aback by this, not exactly expecting this sort of reaction, but he wouldn't allow himself to show it. "What the hell is your problem? This is what you wanted, isn't it? Now go fucking take her!" He smoothly nodded his head in Feferi's direction. "And for the record, the lisp is getting better. I've been working on it."

"You broke her heart, asshole!" Eridan's voice was beginning to rise now and it was catching the attention of some of the others. He took a step forward, getting in Sollux's face. "And you think you can just pass her over to me like she's a fuckin' object? You're makin' me sicker than ever!"

* * *

At this point Kanaya, who was trying her best to pap and shoosh an upset Feferi, had noticed the commotion. She rolled her eyes a bit, then tugged at Feferi's shirt. "Feferi... Look up. Seriously."

Hesitantly, Feferi lifted her head and wiped at her tears and the locks of hair that had stuck to her wet, sticky face. She sniffled and struggled to compose herself, but then she saw what Kanaya must have wanted her to see. She gasped lightly and froze with a hand to her mouth. No, god no. What was about to happen was inevitable.

* * *

"Wow, you must be more whacko than I thought," Sollux hissed, "Now get out of my face before you make a fool of yourself. More than you already are." Just then, one of Eridan's clenched fists collided with Sollux's face. Sollux staggered backward a step or two, but managed to stand his ground. He continued to grin with confidence, and balled up a fist of his own. "You asked for it," he said, then matched Eridan's punch.

The two quickly became a tangle of angry punches and insulting obscenities on the ground. Everybody was watching now, and stepping forward to get a closer look at the fight. Neither of the boys were skilled fighters, but it was still intense, and no one was trying to stop them.

"CUT IT OUT!" a voice finally shrieked. It was Feferi.

The boys on the ground either didn't hear Feferi or they were just too wrapped up in trying to knock one another out that they just didn't care. They continued to throw punches and shout insults that were starting to lose any sense as they were running out of new ideas. A spatter of blood appeared on the ground, and then another, and it was evident the fight was starting to get too out of control.

"ERIDAN!" Feferi began to shriek again. She knew this must have been all Eridan's doing. Though this was the first fight to get physical, he was always the one picking a fight with Sollux. That, and she was not yet angry enough at Sollux to fault him too.

At last, Eridan looked up at the sound of Feferi calling his name. He was straddling on top of Sollux, both hands clasped tightly around Sollux's neck. In his distraction, Sollux was able to shove Eridan off of himself. The two sat panting and seething angrily, exchanging glares. Despite a couple of busted lips, a gash on Eridan's cheek, and Sollux's bloody nose, no serious damage had been done. Perhaps a black eye or two would show up later. Eridan shuffled over to where Sollux had thrown off his glasses, relieved to see they were unharmed. Sollux was missing his shades, too, and once he found them he popped a missing lens back in and they were good to go.

The boys both eventually stood up, ready to pounce again the moment either of them decided to utter another insult. However, before either of them could open their mouths, their friends separated them from each other.

Karkat and a few others tended to Sollux while everyone else dispersed and went back to doing whatever it was they were doing before. Feferi was an exception, though. She was the only one to go to Eridan.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you found this chapter entertaining! The next chapters will include fluff, possibly smut, perhaps more action, and of course more silly teenager drama.**


	2. Chapter 2

Eridan looked at Feferi as if he was a scolded puppy. In fact, he could barely even look at her. He was embarrassed and ashamed. Partially because he knew he threw the first punch to cause the fight, partially because any interaction with Sollux probably could have been avoided if he had just looked for Feferi first instead, and partially because the fight was a total flop and technically neither he nor Sollux won. Well, on the bright side, at least he didn't lose; that would have been catastrophic.

The two former best friends just stared at each other now, with Eridan's gaze frequently switching back and forth from the ground to Feferi's face and back again.

After a moment, Kanaya appeared. She handed Eridan a wet rag and an ice pack for his wounds, and then went on her way, sensing they would need privacy.

Feferi sighed heavily. "You want to sit down?" she asked, gesturing toward the lonely chunk of unused firewood that Eridan had been sitting on earlier.

"Okay," Eridan replied quietly with a small nod.

He sat down and Feferi sat beside him, making sure there was as much space between them as the seat would allow, which wasn't more than a few inches. She rested her elbows on her knees and her head on her hands. She looked up at the starry night's sky and listened to the crackling of the bonfire. More awkward silence ensued between them.

Eridan was looking at Feferi now, though she was not looking at him. He could now see that tears were beginning to well up in her eyes again and he had to look away. His stomach churned a bit at the thought of her crying, especially if he was now partially a reason. He decided to just look up at the stars like she was as he dabbed at his bloody lip and cheek with the rag Kanaya gave him.

"Ouch, fuck," he grumbled and broke the silence, having pressed too hard on his lip.

Feferi glanced over at him and shook her head. "Oh, you're making it bleed more," she said. "Here," she then took the wet rag and ice pack and wrapped the ice pack up before pressing it gently to Eridan's lip.

"Thanks," Eridan said, his voice muffled under the ice pack.

"Shoosh, talking might make it worse." A tiny smile crept upon Feferi's face. It was almost undetectable, but Eridan knew her well enough to notice it. "Feel any better?"

Eridan hummed, "Mm-hmm," rather than actually speaking this time. He wasn't quite sure if he actually felt much better, but being close to Feferi for the first time in nearly a year was making up for it.

Next, Feferi unwrapped the ice pack and began to use the rag to clean up the wound on Eridan's cheek. The blood smeared on his skin had started to dry, so she had to use a little pressure to remove it. Eridan winced, but he allowed her to continue.

"Sorry," Feferi apologized. "Just a little more... There." She had finished cleaning up his face and the bleeding appeared to have ceased. She wrapped up the ice pack again and handed it back to Eridan in case he needed it to soothe any more soreness he might be feeling. And so, he proceeded to place it back to his cheek.

"Thank you, Fef," he said sincerely. A sheepish smile was on his face, though he was careful not to smile too big in case it would open the cut on his lip again.

"No problem," Feferi replied warily. She paused and stared into the fire for a moment before speaking again. "I think I'd like to go home now... I need to find a ride. Sollux was my ride here, but..."

"I can take you home," Eridan offered. He tried his best not to sound too enthusiastic about it, but it was still pretty obvious, at least to Feferi.

Feferi shook her head. "No, Eridan, I don't think—"

He interrupted her, "It's okay, really, I haven't been drinkin' if that's what you were goin' to say."

"No, it's just... I'm not sure where my feelings stand right now and I just really don't think you're the best choice for a ride home," Feferi explained. "We haven't really talked in months, Eridan," she added a bit curtly.

"Well why can't we start talkin' again then?" Eridan asked.

Feferi sighed. "Because I don't know if I want to."

"Oh." Eridan could feel his heart sink a little. He felt very foolish. He knew he should have realized that just because Sollux left her, it didn't mean Feferi's feelings would change. God, he was such a fucking idiot. "I get it," he said defeatedly, voice cracking a little.

It was silent between them again until Eridan heard Feferi begin to sniffle. He looked to her and she had tilted her head down, attempting to hide that she had started to resume her crying.

"Fef?" Eridan questioned, "You okay, Fef?" He reached out to place a hand on her shoulder but she brushed his hand away.

"No, no I'm not," she responded, her tone uneasy. At last she stood up and walked in the direction of Nepeta, pretty much her only hope for a ride home from a sober female now since she couldn't ask Kanaya to leave her own party.

Eridan watched as the girl he loved walked off, and observed as she and Nepeta headed over toward the driveway. He gave them enough time to get in the car and leave, then he got up to leave the party himself. Without saying goodbye to anyone, he snatched a drink on his way out which he planned to down once he got home.

* * *

**A/N: I apologize for this chapter being a bit short, though I suppose it's kind of a bridge for the next. :) Chapter three is in the works and should be posted sometime this week!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I just wanted to say thank you for the reviews and alerts! Now, time for chapter three. :)**

* * *

It was just past midnight when Nepeta kindly dropped Feferi off at her house and drove away, likely to return to the party. Feferi fetched her house key from her purse and slowly opened the door.

The house was dark inside, all the lights were off, indicating that her parents were already in bed. She did her best to keep quiet for them, though she didn't have to sneak around; they knew she had gone over to Kanaya's with Sollux and trusted her to make it home safely. It was strange how once she began dating Sollux, her parents had mostly freed her from being such a sheltered child. She was surprised they even let her have a boyfriend. That was all over now, though. Feferi felt the tears start prickling at her eyes again, thinking of Sollux and wondering if her parents would still allow her this freedom without him. But even moreso, she just missed him terribly.

After shutting the door and locking it back, Feferi stepped upstairs and made her way to her bedroom. She didn't even bother to turn her light on, to wash her makeup off, or to change into some pajamas. She just flung her purse to the floor and flopped onto her bed. Face pressed into her pillow, the heartbroken girl let the tears start flowing.

* * *

By this time, Eridan had made it back home as well. Just as quickly as Feferi had, he shut himself up in his room for the night. He had the bottle of Smirnoff he grabbed before he left the party, and sitting on his bed, he popped the cap off the bottle and began drinking. It didn't take him long before he finished it since Smirnoff was easy to down even for those not as used to the taste of alcohol. Eridan wasn't much of a drinker himself, but tonight he figured he definitely had an excuse. He just wanted to forget things, at least until he slept. He wished he had grabbed another bottle, though.

Or... maybe he didn't have to. Very quickly, he started to feel the affects of the alcohol. He was indeed a lightweight. It was something he hated to ever admit, but it was inevitable and obvious.

* * *

Feferi had been crying for about thirty minutes straight when she was interrupted by her computer as it uttered a blip across the room. Her sobbing paused at the sound and it took her a few seconds to realize she must have forgotten to sign out of Pesterchum, or turn off her computer for that matter. More blip noises followed. She took a moment to try and figure out who it could be, since anyone who would probably take the time to pester her was probably still at the party. Sniffling a bit, she slid from her bed and sat at her desk before curiously opening her Pesterchum screen.

caligulasAquarium [CA] began pestering cuttlefishCuller [CC]

CA: fef

CA: fef are you there

CA: please answwer fef

CC: -Eridan, w)(at are you doing? Are you still at t)(e party?

CA: no i left after you did

CC: O)(.

CC: Well w)(at is it? I was in bed.

CA: fef im sorry

CA: im such a fick up

CA: fuck im mean fuck

CA: i can undertstand wwhy youdont wwanna be wwithg me

CA: i can evven understand wwhy you dont evven wwanna be my fgriend;'

CA: friend

CA: sporty

CA: SORRY

CA: cod these typos arent evven funny

CA: god not cod wwhat th fuck cod is a fish

CC: W)(OA -ERIDAN! Calm down. W)(at is wrong with)( you?

CC: O)( wait, did you drink somet)(ing?

CC: You're kind of reminding me of t)(e girl w)(o sneaks vodka to sc)(ool in )(er water bottle. Roxy? Except maybe s)(e's a tiny bit worse...

CA: oh yeha i had a drink afteer i got home but wwho cares

CA: jef

CA: fef

CA: im so sorry

CC: W)(y are you sorry?

CA: bceuaes fef

CA: BECAUSE

CA: your heart is broken an i cant fix it beacuas i fuckin suck oaky

CA: BECAUSE dammit wwhy is that wword so hard to type

CC: -Eridan...

CA: youll nevver lovve me like i lovve you im so fuckin wworthless

CC: -Eridan, I'm going to sign out now. I can't deal wit)( t)(is rig)(t now.

CC: I TOLD YOU t)(at I don't know w)(ere my feelings stand. Can't you respect t)(at and leave me alone?

CA: im sorry fef i wasnt thinkin

CC: It's FIN-E, don't worry about it.

CC: Good nig)(t -Eridan.

cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA]

* * *

Eridan stared at the computer screen, frowning. The words began swimming around, a mess of violet and tyrian purple, and he closed his eyes. He was feeling a little nauseous now. He slowly slinked over to his bed again and laid himself down on his back, arms and legs sprawled out. A tear or two leaked from his eyes as he attempted to organize his thoughts. Feferi was still hurting and he couldn't do anything to fix it. Well, she wouldn't let him. That had to fucking change.

Next, Eridan slid his hand into his pocket and pulled out his cellphone. He chose Feferi's name in his contacts list and stared at the screen for a moment in order to make sure he'd chosen the right name in his dizziness. Then he carefully poked at the letters, trying his best not to make any tipsy typos this time. It took longer than it should have, but at last he was satisfied with the message.

It read, "ok i knoww you dont wwanna talk or wwhatevver but fef im here for you an if you evver need comfortin remember i livve like fivve minutes awway so just let me knoww so wwe can talk about howw sol is a fuckin dick an i guess you dont havve to reply to this an you probably wwont but it wwould be nice if you did since im really missin you right noww but i guess i understand if you arent missin me so night fef im sorry"

* * *

Having resumed her sobbing on her bed, Feferi was becoming a bit delirious now. She was once again interrupted, however, when she heard the muffled vibrations of her cellphone in her purse across the room. She grumbled to herself. She had a gut feeling she knew who it was. Probably Eridan. For a moment, she decided not to get up to check the message. But then, what if it was Sollux? There could be a possibility of that, right? At the thought, her stomach knotted up with nervousness, but still she managed to lift herself from the bed again and walk over to her purse on the floor. She took her phone and crawled back to bed, sighing anxiously before looking at the message. She frowned the moment she opened it.

However, as she read it, the frown softened to nearly a smile. Just nearly.

It really was kind of sweet of Eridan, and she knew he had the best intentions. Still, the fact that she had asked him to leave her alone tonight twice already left her a bit irritated. That was just Eridan, she had to assume. He had always been difficult and stubborn. She always dealt with it, somehow, until she began to date Sollux. But now... she wasn't dating Sollux anymore.

She read his message about three times, struggling to decide whether or not she should reply. Finally, she came to the conclusion that she shouldn't mistreat him anymore. Though Sollux was strangely able to erase most of it, Feferi always felt some guilt for rejecting Eridan like she had. She didn't want to be with him, but he was once her best friend and he honestly hadn't done anything to deserve her cold shoulder to him. He was constantly nasty to Sollux, but now she realized that was just how he was trying to deal with his jealousy. And, well, Feferi tried to act oblivious to it the majority of the time, but Sollux was constantly nasty to Eridan, too.

Feferi's lips began to tremble a bit, and she slid her wrist across her face to wipe at her latest pair of tears. She really did need some comforting right now. And maybe she really did miss Eridan, at least a little.

")(ey. T)(at's sweet of you, -Eridan. Maybe you're rig)(t, some comforting sounds nice," Feferi finally sent a reply.

* * *

Eridan was lost in his thoughts and emotions now. He was angry and depressed and heartbroken and all of those shitty feelings at once, with the relief of Feferi being single again hidden somewhere in between all that. It wasn't enough to cheer him up, however. Despite all these emotions, though, the boy just sat there staring blankly as if his face had just given up on making an appropriate expression.

His phone then went off and he gasped while flailing his arms to view the message because Feferi had actually replied.

"so can i come ovver noww," he sent with haste, his heart thumping harshly in his chest.

Feferi blinked at the response, noting how quickly it came. "Well, )(ow are you feeling? You were drinking, weren't you? Maybe you can see me tomorrow... I mean, it is nearly 1:30." She hated to be making excuses, but she had to admit she was concerned.

"fuck fef im fine i only drank one bottle an look im not evven makin typos anymore an you knoww damn wwell you an i both wwont be gettin any sleep tonight," Eridan replied, taking a bit longer this time. The typo excuse was a lie, actually. He was still having some trouble poking out his words.

"U)(... Okay. You can come...," Feferi was skeptical of him, but he did seem to be able to type now, so hopefully he would be okay to drive. Her knowledge of what alcohol could do to a person was very minimal since she had been so sheltered, and also because she had never tasted it in her life.

"ok i wwill be there in fivve minutes"

Eridan stood up out of his bed, feeling the blood rush from his head. Damn it, he thought he might have been sobering up. He concluded that it could be nerves, though. Nevertheless, he proceeded to crawl out of his bedroom window and into his car. Feferi was waiting on him.


	4. Chapter 4

Feferi sat on her bed and waited for Eridan, her pillow upright with her back resting against it. She stared blankly ahead and paid attention to the swift beating of her heart. She felt nervous, so nervous and focused that she was no longer on the verge of tears, and the anxiety only grew as she continued to wait and think. Eridan had said he would be at her house in five minutes. Twenty minutes had passed now. Assuming he was taking his car, she knew very well twenty minutes was much too long because their houses were only a few blocks apart. Feferi was now worried more than anything. He could have gotten in an accident and it would be all her fault for letting him come to her house under the influence in the middle of the night. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. She reached for her phone to call him.

_Clunk!_

The sound of a pebble hitting her window startled her enough to cause her heart to skip a beat. She set her phone down and crept over to the window to peek through the blinds. A figure stood on the ground, peering up at her. Recognizing the figure as Eridan, Feferi let out a great sigh of relief because Eridan was safe and also not a scary burglar. She waved to let him know she saw him and motioned in the direction of the front of her house, signaling for him to head to her front door so she could let him in.

Carefully and quietly, Feferi made her way down the stairs and to the front door. She slowly unlocked it and turned the knob, opening it to let Eridan inside. She placed a finger to her mouth to let him know to keep quiet, then led him up to her room. He stumbled a bit on the steps, but thankfully didn't make much noise.

The two teenagers entered Feferi's room at last and she shut her door behind them.

"Okay. Hi," Feferi greeted, her voice coming out a bit more quiet than she had intended.

"Hey, Fef," Eridan said. He stood awkwardly and watched Feferi take a seat back on her bed.

"You can sit, too...," she told him as she patted the place on the bed beside her. The corners of her mouth lifted slightly, but her eyes showed no matching emotion. Eridan sat next to her and left a foot of space between them, which Feferi was thankful for. "What took you so long?" she finally asked him. There was concern in her voice. "I was... worried," she added hesitantly.

"...I kinda had to make a stop to throw up," Eridan answered with just as much hesitation, having made the decision not to lie to her. He felt a little embarrassed too. He placed his hands on his stomach and frowned. "I would'a called but I didn't want you to tell me not to come anymore. But I feel better now," he explained.

Feferi gasped lightly. "Oh, Eridan...," she sighed as she placed a hand to her forehead. "I guess I'll take your word for it... but just in case, here." She reached down next to her bed and grabbed a tiny trash bin and handed it to Eridan. He smiled with thanks and set it aside.

This, combined with her tending to his wounds back at the party, felt like the good ol' days again. Almost. Then he realized those days were actually still long gone, and his lips resumed their frowning position. "Fef...," his voice drifted off as he began to remember. The last time he had been here in Feferi's room was basically the worst day of his life. It was about a year ago, but he still remembered it vividly.

* * *

_The two of them were sitting on Feferi's bed. They had just had a small argument and were left in silence when suddenly Eridan placed his hand on hers. She looked to him, startled, but then her face softened._

_"I got somethin' to tell you, Fef...," Eridan spoke cautiously as he gripped her hand._

_"Well actually, so do I..." She appeared to be a bit pained.  
_

_Eridan blinked. "Oh? Well you go first... Maybe we're thinkin' the same thing."_

_"Yeah, maybe! Um, so I was thinking..."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Maybe we shouldn't be 'best friends' anymore."_

_Eridan felt his heart jump up to his throat. "Wait, what?"_

_"I mean, it's getting old, Eridan..."_

_"No, Fef, no don't say that!" He was gripping her hand too harshly now and she pried it free._

_"Well what were you going to say?" she asked, looking down to her lap._

_"I... I was actually thinkin'... since we've been best friends for so long, and know each other so well, that maybe we could try...," he paused, taking a deep, shaky breath, "datin' each other."_

_Feferi's eyes widened. "Oh, oh wow," she said, too shocked to say anything more. She couldn't meet eyes with him either, and kept her gaze still upon her lap._

_"Have you never thought about that?" Eridan asked, looking to her with a mixture of hope and fear in his eyes, wishing she would glance up to see._

_Feferi shook her head. "No, not really..." Silence. Eridan was at a loss for words now, so Feferi decided to continue. At last she met her eyes with his. "I can't deal with it anymore, Eridan. I can't deal with your constant cynicism and overly dramatic reactions to just about everything! I have myself to worry about. I've cared about you too much for too long. I want to be able to do all the things I want to do without having to second guess myself, wondering if my 'best friend' would approve. I've never even gone on a date because you're so critical of every guy I'm interested in! I'm sorry, Eridan. I still care about you, but I just think it would be best if we went our separate ways." She fidgeted slightly and had to look away again._

_Eridan swallowed hard, struggling not to allow his eyes to begin watering. He was in disbelief. How was it even possible that he could feel so much love for her while she was ready to break off their entire friendship? "This wasn't what I was expectin' at all," he said quietly, disappointment and heartbreak consuming him._

_"I know," Feferi said. "But it's over. I'm sorry."_

_"Please, Fef, I—"_

_"No, Eridan!" she cut him short and proceeded to slide from her bed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm meeting Sollux at the park."_

_Suddenly Eridan's eyes flashed with fury. "Sol? You're goin' on a date with him?"_

_"Ugh, I shouldn't have said anything!" Feferi exclaimed, growing irritated. "Now could you please allow me to get ready?"_

_Before she could finish the question, however, Eridan was already stomping past her. He slammed her door shut without looking back, and she heard him run down the stairs and out of the house. She felt overwhelmed with guilt, but then she thought of Sollux and smiled a bit. She was free now._

* * *

"Eridan? Hello?" Feferi swiped a hand in front of his face. "You're spacing out."

Snapping back to reality, Eridan felt his stomach lurch. "Shit," he whined, and quickly took hold of the trash bin he'd been given.

Feferi quickly pulled her hand back from him and covered her eyes as Eridan began vomiting what was mostly alcohol. She wanted to scream, but thankfully she remembered to keep quiet in order to not wake her parents.

After a minute or so, Eridan ceased his heaving over the trash bin and Feferi removed her hands from her eyes. "Are you okay now?" she squeaked.

Eridan nodded. "I'm so fuckin' sorry, Fef."

"It's fine," Feferi told him halfheartedly. She then grabbed the barf bucket and headed to her bathroom to clean it up. Thankfully she had her own bathroom connected to her bedroom, so she didn't have to worry about causing a commotion that might get her parents involved.

After flushing the vomit down the toilet and washing out the remnants in the sink, Feferi stood in the doorway of the bathroom and asked Eridan tiredly, "Do you need anything else?"

"No," Eridan answered.

"What about for your face? Is it still hurting from... earlier?"

"No!" Eridan's voice rose a little. "Well yeah, kinda, but damn it, Fef! I came here to comfort you an' instead a that you're tryin' to take care a me cuz I got a little beat up an' a little drunk an' a little sick. Well who gives a fuck? I'm a worthless asshole!"

"Shoosh!" she whispered loudly, reminding him to be quiet.

"Sorry," he apologized. "But, fuck. Fef, are you okay, or what? Do _you_ need anything?"

Feferi's expression saddened more than it already had. She stepped back over to her bed to sit beside Eridan again, then buried her face in her hands. Eridan could hear her sniffling softly. "I was trying to forget about it," she muttered.

"You can't just forget about something like somebody breakin' your heart an' whatnot. Trust me, I know," Eridan told her.

Feferi shook her head and let her hands fall to her lap, revealing her dampened eyes. "You're right, how silly of me."

Eridan gazed at her with sympathy, or rather empathy. "He's a fuckin' asshole, Fef. He's not worth beatin' yourself up over."

"No, Eridan," Feferi sighed and nibbled at her lip. "I mean, maybe, but I don't want to talk about him like that. I'm sure he had his reasons and all..."

Surprised, Eridan's mouth gaped open slightly. "You mean you don't know? You don't know why he broke up with you? You didn't ask?"

With a shrug, Feferi raked her mind, painfully trying to remember exactly how the break up went. A tear streamed down her cheek. "I asked him what was wrong with me. He said nothing was wrong with me. He just needed space, something like that, but he also said we probably just weren't meant to be together."

Eridan put his palm to his face and groaned, half because the pressure hurt his lip, and half because Sollux was proving to be an even bigger asshole than ever before.

"What is it?" Feferi asked with concern.

"Fef...," Eridan grumbled, "He's... he's a dirty, rotten, lyin' douchebag."

"What do you mean?"

Eridan removed his palm from his face before answering. "Okay, so maybe he wasn't completely lyin', but he sure was sugar-coatin' his reasons..."

"Eridan, stop being difficult. If you know something... I want to know. I have the right to know, don't I?" Feferi crossed her arms and awaited his explanation.

"He left you for some other girl," Eridan told her hastily. "So obviously he doesn't need any fuckin' space."

Feferi blinked a couple of times, her expression oddly not angry, shocked, sad, or any extreme emotion, really. Somber was perhaps a good word for it. "Oh," she choked on the word a bit. "Who?"

"Aradia."

She simply nodded, taking in the answer, trying to come to terms with it all. She liked Aradia, the girl was nice, and Feferi knew she had always been very close to Sollux. She had not expected this at all, but she supposed she could say she wasn't completely surprised. This realization only made the hurting a little worse. She mentally cursed herself for not having seen it coming.

Suddenly, she felt a touch to her cheek. Eridan had scooted closer to her and was wiping away her silent tears with his thumb. "You know," he said softly, "He was right about one thing. You are perfect, Fef."

Feferi's lips quivered, struggling to form a tiny smile as she struggled not to begin to cry any harder.

"Maybe _he_ didn't really mean it," Eridan continued, choosing not to elaborate on the fact that Sollux complained about Feferi getting overly excited, "but _I_ mean it."

Leaning into Eridan now, Feferi was forced to let out a sob as more tears fell. He let her use his scarf as a tissue and he decided to keep talking as he wrapped his arms around her. Maybe what he was about to say would just make her cry more, but god damn it, he had wanted to say it for so long and now seemed like a very appropriate time to do so. "Seriously, Fef, you're perfect. There's nothin' wrong with you at all. I've tried to think of things that could be wrong with you, things that should make me hate you, an' there's just nothin'. Sure we get in fights a lot, or used to, you know, but all those were cuz 'a me an' how fuckin' retarded I was always actin' about stuff. You're so perfect and I'm such a dumbass, but fuck. I love you, Fef." It wasn't the first time he'd ever said those three powerful words to her, but with each time he said them he felt their meaning grow deeper and deeper.

There was a blotch on his scarf now where Feferi had soaked it with her tears. She uttered stifled cries, still conscious of her volume. Eridan's body was slightly stiff; he felt as if she was so fragile that she could break if he moved, but he still continued to hold her and stroke her hair. She never responded to him, and it made his heart sink a bit, but he would try to appreciate this moment for all that it was worth. Here he was, holding the girl he loved in his arms, something he had been longing to do; and she was clinging to him, something he had been longing for.

They stayed that way for at least an hour. Slowly, Feferi seemed to be calming down, until at once she stopped. Eridan took a glance at her face and saw that she had fallen asleep. He would have tried to fall asleep himself, but he needed to pay attention to what time it was, and he didn't want to risk waking her by setting an alarm on his phone. So, for at least an hour and a half longer, he sat there silently and waited. Then, carefully, he slipped away from her and gently tucked her under her sheets. She was still out cold. Hesitantly, he then decided to place a kiss on her forehead.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Feferi mumbled in her sleep just before Eridan turned to leave her room.

"It's okay. It'll be okay," he whispered.

A small smile appeared at the edge of his mouth as he took one last look at her before making his way out of her house to head home.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: My apologies for taking a bit longer than usual to add this chapter! I ended up rewriting half of it like twice because I was unsatisfied with it. As always, thanks in advance for any faves and feedback.**

* * *

Feferi did not speak to anyone for the rest of the weekend. She simply stayed cooped up in her room and busied herself with homework, and of course the occasional sob session.

Eridan was about to go nuts. He was starting to think Friday night (or, well, early Saturday morning) was all some sort of elaborate dream. Because of this fear, he restrained himself from contacting Feferi. It certainly did not help she wasn't contacting him either. However, even if it wasn't all a dream, Eridan probably wouldn't have been surprised if she reverted back to her avoidance of him and continued to disregard him as her friend.

* * *

On Monday, back in school and during lunch period, Eridan sat alone outside at a picnic table as usual. Some days Kanaya would sit with him, sometimes Karkat, and sometimes even Vriska if she happened to be in a generous mood, but none of them showed up today.

Instead, about halfway through the period, Feferi approached Eridan. He glanced up at her with surprise as she stood there holding her lunch tray, a shy smile on her face.

"Would it be okay if I sat here?" she asked. The question wasn't in the bubbly, perky voice she might have normally used, though. She seemed tired.

Eridan nodded his head, still a little surprised. Okay, so maybe he hadn't dreamed anything up, but the fact that she'd want to sit with him was still a shocker to him.

Setting her tray down first, Feferi sat across from Eridan. They were quiet for a moment. He watched as she poked at her salad with a fork, noticing she wasn't really paying attention to the food at all, just deep in thought. His lips parted slightly while his mind struggled to think of how to start conversation. Should he even talk about the weekend? It didn't seem like a good idea, though neither did cliche small talk.

Finally, Feferi lifted her head to look at Eridan. "Thank you," she started, still lacking her bubbliness. "You know, for the other night." She then allowed for a friendly smirk to appear on her face.

Eridan instinctively returned the smirk, his cheeks turning a bit red. "You're welcome…," he responded. And just like that, there he was again, trying to think of words with no luck. However, the insertion of another voice saved him… or for this particular person, Eridan considered it a rude interruption.

"FF, we need to talk."

With an expression close to horrified, Feferi quickly turned to face the boy who had just appeared by the table. "Talk about what, Sollux?" she asked rather bravely despite her anxious feelings.

"You don't have to talk to him about anythin' if you don't wanna, Fef," Eridan interjected sharply.

"Oh, ED," Sollux said with a chuckle, "I see you've already resumed your former duties."

Eridan's face was red now, and not at all in the way it was only a couple moments ago. He was just about to respond with something witty when Feferi stood up abruptly.

"It's okay, Eridan," she said. "I suppose I'll hear whatever you have to say, Sollux…"

Sollux gently took Feferi by her arm and led her aside to the shade of a tree across the outdoor eating area. He made sure to go to the opposite side of the tree from Eridan so the nosy boy couldn't attempt to read their lips.

* * *

Eridan was trying his hardest to keep cool and calm. The urge to march over to that tree and start another fist fight with Sollux was difficult to resist. This also mixed with his worrying over whatever Sollux may be saying to Feferi, and so the emotional tumult inside of him left him a mess.

When Feferi reappeared, Eridan could immediately tell that nothing good came out of her conversation with Sollux. However, he was very relieved to see that Sollux had gone off somewhere else.

"What was that about?" Eridan asked his ex best friend as she reclaimed her seat at the table.

Feferi shook her head. There were tears welling up in her eyes.

"No, Fef, tell me!" Eridan begged, leaning forward over the table.

Feferi dabbed at her eyes with her fingertips in order to try to rid them of her tears. It wasn't much use and ended up smudging her mascara a little. "He said… he made a mistake," she sighed, "and when I asked him about Aradia he said she rejected him, since she realized he broke up with me for her."

Eridan was silent. He just sat there scowling and clenching his teeth.

"I don't know what to do, Eridan," she whined.

"Tell him to fuck off," Eridan said tersely.

Feferi scoffed. "Eridan, seriously!"

"I was bein' completely serious, Fef!" Eridan groaned. "He's a fuckin' idiot for leavin' you like this an' thinkin' he could get away with everythin' goin' his way."

"Sure, you're right, but he's heartbroken, Eridan… He's hurting and I believe he's definitely realized his mistake. I could give him another chance…" She ran a hand through her long hair, looking upward and weighing her options.

"Okay, so he deserves a second chance an' I don't," Eridan muttered almost incoherently.

"What?" Feferi questioned. She managed to catch what he said, she was just surprised he had the nerve to say it.

"Nothin', damn it," he snapped, "Do you not realize how stupid you just sounded?"

Feferi narrowed her eyes and pointed a finger at him. She was fed up with this attitude of Eridan's. "Look here, mister! In case you haven't noticed, I've been giving you a second chance! Why else would I even be sitting here? Heck, I even let you sneak into my house in the middle of the night! I took care of your injuries at the party and then I also cleaned up your nasty barf!"

Glancing up from his half eaten sandwich, Eridan replied, "I know, Fef. God, whatever. Thanks for all that. But it doesn't really seem like you care at all about any a' my feelins, which I do actually still have. Quit actin' like you haven't heard anythin' I've been sayin' to you!"

"Wow," Feferi said with a roll of her eyes, "I have realized you've been hurting, Eridan. I do care about your feelings. It's still like I said last year, though. I've spent so much time caring about you, and it felt so unhealthy doing so. I need to try and focus on myself for once. And, well, I happen to have very strong feelings for Sollux… and you can't do anything about it."

The bell rang, signaling students to go to their classes, but Eridan and Feferi might as well have not noticed it. They stayed put at the table, continuing their conversation. They seemed to have made a silent agreement that they could afford being late to class for this.

Eridan had started to lose his strong front now, if it was ever strong to begin with. His scowling had turned to a look of desperation. "I wanna do whatever I can to change those feelins you have for him, Fef. He's not good for you an' you know it!"

"Stop it, Eridan! You're making me feel like giving you a second chance as my friend was a mistake!"

Eridan wanted to scream, perhaps even cry with frustration. However, he allowed himself a moment to gain some composure before he spoke again. "Let me ask you somethin'. Do you think you can trust me?" His voice wavered slightly.

"Well, yeah… You haven't ever been untrustworthy… Just difficult, you know." She creased her brow. "Why are you asking?"

"What about Sol? Do you think you can trust him?"

The question hung in the air, suspended above Feferi's head with the weight of a boulder. She was afraid of it crushing her and she felt herself cowering beneath it. And then suddenly, the force hit her, and with it came the realization that she could no longer trust Sollux Captor. She shook her head. "…No. I can't trust him, not anymore," she admitted defeatedly.

Eridan did not say anything in response, he only sat silently staring at Feferi. His face alone seemed to speak enough for him. She saw all the hope, desperation, and strained patience pooling in his eyes, pleading for her reaction. She couldn't give in that easily though. It wasn't that she wanted to play hard to get or anything of the sort, she just wanted to think and to weigh all her options. That excuse was getting old, but it was necessary.

She knew very well that despite his stubborn and destructive tendencies, and though he may not always be good _for_ her, Eridan would always at least be good _to_ her as a friend and a lover. He always wanted what was best for her, and if he ever messed up he always tried to fix things. He was a handful, but Feferi somehow possessed the patience for it. The reasons she gave up on him were selfish ones; for her mental health seemed a good enough reason, but for easier access to Sollux was a reason she hated to reveal even just to herself. She felt ridiculously foolish.

The silence had consumed them for much too long now, and Feferi swore it thickened the air as a lump formed in her throat. "Eridan…," she sighed. "Could we… just go to class for now?"

Eridan looked like she'd just slapped him in the face. "But Fef…?" was all he could manage.

"We can talk more later, okay? I just need some space again. This whole situation is…," she cut herself off with a groan and swiped stray strands of hair from her face. "Come over to my place after school?" she suggested.

Eridan nodded without any hint of hesitation. "I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Great. Well, I'll see you then," Feferi said as she and Eridan stood up to gather their things.

"Oh, and Fef?" Eridan questioned before they parted from the lunch table. He looked genuinely concerned for her. It was almost a treat to see his expression something other than perpetually sour.

Feferi tilted her head to the side. "Yes?"

"If he tries to talk to you again, will you just… ignore him?" He fidgeted slightly, realizing that maybe that was too much to ask of her right now. "At least until we talk?" he decided to add.

"Yeah… I can do that." She nodded slowly. She really hoped Sollux wouldn't try to talk to her again. At least not today. Unfortunately, she couldn't say she didn't want him to speak to her ever again.


End file.
